If a guy sucks your dick does that make you gay? Fred, 16
Fred, there is a huge difference between sexual behavior and sexual orientation.
Behavior refers simply to what one might do with their genitals, while orientation
reflects how we feel. Someone can find the other sex erotically interesting to play
with, but in their heart of hearts they only generate feelings of passion and love
to their same sex (and certainly vice-
In Polynesia there are males called Fa’fa’fine who engage in receptive anal sex with other males. These other males are simply regarded as men; men who could as easily penetrate women vaginally as they penetrate Fa’fa’fine anally. Thus the Fa’fa’fine do not typically form long term relationships with their sexual partners as gay men in the Western world do.
In the highlands of Papua New Guinea, tribal peoples including the Ettoro and the
Sambia require pre-
I have sexual feelings for both sexes, but I mostly think about and want to have sex with women. I enjoy having sex with men, but anal sex does not interest me very much. When I tell my straight friends that I’m bisexual, they tell me that I’m probably a gay person still in the closet. Do bisexuals really exist? Might I be one of them? Jerry, 48
Jerry, labels such as gay, straight and bisexual are all cultural constructions.
In cultures such as the Sambia of Papua New Guinea where preadolescent boys are
required to engage in oral sex with mature males such designations do not exist.
While your straight American friends contend that engaging in oral sex is an indicator
of “gayness,” in other cultural settings, it certainly is not. There are countless
numbers of “straight-
The renowned sexologist Alfred Kinsey created a 0-
As for who you are, I’d say you are honest. Men who seek the sort of connections that you do have been known to advertise on places like Craigslist in search of “straight acting” men who seek to share pleasure with other’s like themselves.